Fears when moving

Dispelling common fears when moving into a nursing home

When the signs that it’s time to move your loved one into a nursing home become too great to ignore, it can prompt a lot of fear and anxiety on both sides.

Many elderly people worry that they’ll be lonely or forgotten in an unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile, those who have cared for them up until now are often concerned about the level and standard of care their loved one will receive. 

It’s not uncommon for these fears to delay the decision to move. So, in this short blog post, we aim to address these concerns head-on and smooth the way towards a better quality of life for all involved. 

5 Common Nursing Home Fears Dispelled

1. “I’ll be bored and lonely”

The number one concern for many prospective residents, they fear that moving into a nursing home means being shut away and left to their own devices. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Think about your current situation. If you’re caring for a loved one, your time with them will predominantly be spent meeting their needs (cooking, cleaning, dressing, toileting, etc.). When they move to a nursing home, these tasks are taken care of already, meaning you get to spend quality time with them, and not just around them.  

Beyond that fact, most nursing homes run year-round social calendars for residents. Your loved one will have plenty of opportunities to interact with fellow residents and staff members, forging new friendships and trying new things. Just take a look at the 20+ social activities enjoyed by our nursing home residents.

2. “I’ve become a burden”

It’s common for elderly people to confuse the suggestion of a nursing home with the idea that they’ve somehow become a burden. It’s a horrible feeling, which is what makes the conversation such an emotional one. 

That’s why it’s so important that you let them know that it’s a decision made out of love. It’s because you care that you want them to enjoy a better quality of life under the watchful eye of professionals. 

3. “My independence is gone”

Another frightening thought is that moving into a nursing home means being unable to make decisions; that their daily lives will be controlled, morning, noon, and night. 

Again, this is understandable, but not altogether true. Yes, certain aspects of their lives will be different, owing to the circumstances, but residents are still encouraged to live as independently as possible. They can pursue hobbies, learn new skills, enjoy day trips, and much more.  

4. “I’ll get sick faster”

Often, the decision to move a loved one into a nursing home is linked to their health. If they’ve been used to receiving one-to-one care at home, they may worry that sharing the attention of nursing staff with several other residents will mean they’ll be overlooked. 

Yet this is another concern that’s easily quelled. Nursing homes are designed to provide 24/7 care, and everything is carefully coordinated to ensure that everyone receives the attention they require.

And when you’re visiting a nursing home for the first time, it’s often a good idea to ask about the staff-to-resident ratio. This should help set your loved one’s mind at ease.

5. “I can’t afford it”

Finally, a universal cause of anxiety: Money. Many prospective residents fear that they simply won’t be able to afford the nursing home’s fees, or that they’ll be a drain on their loved one’s finances.  

However, nursing home care in the UK is means tested, meaning if they don’t meet the threshold for self-funding (currently set at £23,250 in England), they will be eligible for support. Their local authority can pay some or all of the associated costs, funding up to roughly £742 per week.

Read More: How much does living in a nursing home cost?

Here to Help, Ready to Listen

There’s no denying that moving into a nursing home can be scary, stressful, and emotional. The fear of the unknown can weigh heavy. But many of the concerns listed above are quickly overcome the moment your loved one sees the home and meets the staff and residents. 

Rest assured, they’ll be made welcome and comfortable, and they’ll soon adjust to a new way of living.

If you’d like to learn more about Fulford Nursing Home, please contact us on 01904 654 269. We’re ready to listen and happy to help.


9 early signs it’s time for a nursing home

We all age differently. And not everyone who is elderly will need the expert support and care offered by a nursing home. In fact, making the move too quickly can cause tension in your relationship.

However, there are certain signs and situations that you should be aware of which point to independent living becoming more and more challenging for your loved one.

In this short blog post, we share 9 early warning signs that it’s time for a nursing home.

Look out for these red flags that it’s time to consider moving your loved one into a nursing home

1. Falls or physical injuries

Living independently becomes increasingly difficult as we get older. Simple tasks such as cooking or cleaning are suddenly fraught with danger. And if floors are uneven or there are stairs to contend with, it can increase the risk of falling.

If your loved one has recently suffered a fall at home while no-one was around, or if you notice they’re hiding bumps, scrapes, bruises or burns, it could be time to consider the safe space a nursing home provides.

2. Increased phone calls — especially at night 

Do you find that you can’t go anywhere without your phone in case something happens? Or that you’ve come to expect a late-night call from a confused or anxious loved one most evenings? 

This is often a telltale sign that someone isn’t coping well at home alone.

Particularly common with dementia patients, increased agitation, confusion or anxiety later in the day can place a heavy burden on caregivers, disrupting family routines and putting stress on the relationship.  

3. Personal hygiene becomes an issue

If you notice that your loved one’s hygiene standards have started to slip, it could be time for a difficult — yet important — conversation. 

Ask them how often they bathe or shower, and if they’ve been having trouble doing so. Do they find it challenging getting into or out of the shower or bath? Can they still get dressed and undressed alone? Are they sleeping in their bed or a chair in front of the TV?

It’s not uncommon for older people to be too proud or stubborn to admit to these struggles, so it might take a bit of gentle coaxing on your part. But if you can get them to open up, you can help them understand that a nursing home is a far safer and healthier environment.

4. The house and/or garden is a mess

Dishes stacking up next to the sink? Food going off in the fridge? A once cherished and cared-for garden now overgrown with weeds?

These can all be relatively small signs in the grand scheme of things, but they most certainly point to someone struggling to manage the day-to-day of living alone.

Read More: Questions to Ask When Visiting a Nursing Home

5. Changes in mobility 

A major benefit of nursing homes is that they have trained staff and specialist equipment to help with lifting, moving and walking. 

So if your loved one experiences pain when they move around their home; difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, or they can no longer walk unaided and require assistance or the use of a cane or walker, it’s a strong indication that they would be safer (and more comfortable) under expert supervision.

6. Medication is piling up 

If you notice that your loved one’s medication is unopened and starting to pile up, this is a huge red flag — and one you simply cannot ignore. Forgetting or refusing to take medication can have serious consequences. 

Moving into a nursing home means your loved one will have a trained professional on hand to make sure they’re taking their medication as and when required. This gives you both peace of mind that their health is being monitored closely.

7. Eating habits have changed

Is your loved one eating healthy and nutritious meals, or relying on the microwave or takeaways? Are they still able to cook for themselves? Are they even eating enough throughout the day?

Keep an eye on their fridge and the bin for clues around their eating habits if you’re unable to shop and cook for them on a regular basis. 

8. Issues with toileting or continence

If your loved one is finding it hard to get to the toilet on time and unaided, or they’re waking to a wet bed, or experiencing more accidents due to poor mobility or bowel control, it’s probably time to consider discussing a nursing home with them. Having someone on hand 24/7 to help with toileting can give them their confidence and dignity back.

9. You’re experiencing stress or burnout 

While living alone can be stressful for your loved one, acting as their primary caregiver day in and day out can also result in pressure and anxiety for you. It’s important that you recognise this as soon as possible to avoid burnout, ill-health, or damaging your dynamic as a son or daughter to your parent.

At the end of the day, your loved one deserves the support and attention of trained professionals as they enter this challenging period of their life. And it allows you to transition back to being their child, resuming an important relationship safe in the knowledge that they’re being well looked after.

Spotted one (or more) of these signs? Let’s have a chat

It can be hard to know for sure that it’s time to move a loved one into a nursing home. But if you’ve started to notice a few of these signs slowly creeping into your lives, it makes sense to plan ahead and plant the seed that a nursing home is the right next step. 

Whether you’d like more information about nursing homes in general — or Fulford in particular — or if you’re simply looking for a sympathetic ear, we’re ready to listen and happy to help. Contact us on 01904 654 269.


Choosing a Care Home: 15 Questions to Ask Care Homes When Visiting

Choosing the right care home or nursing home for a loved one is one of the most difficult and emotional things you might ever have to do. 

That’s why it’s vital that you ask the right questions when visiting for the first time.

What to Ask During Your Care Home Visit:

1. What’s included in the fee?

One of the first things you’ll want to know when visiting a care home is how much it costs to stay there, and what’s included in the fee.

A good care home should provide transparent and structured pricing, highlighting precisely how and when the money is collected. 

You should also ask if a deposit is required and if the fees are reviewed on a yearly basis.

2. What costs extra?

Every care home provider is different. Some will include various extras in the overall price, while others will charge for additional items or services.

It’s a good idea to clear this up on your visit. Will toiletries, hairdressing, newspapers, etc. add to your overall bill each month? If so, by how much? 

3. What does my loved one get in their room?

You’ll be shown a room on your tour, but make sure you don’t take what’s in it at face value. 

Request a list of what’s included in the room as standard, and ask the following: 

  • Do you provide bedding? How often is it changed? 
  • Is there a television in the room? Or a radio?  
  • Is there a telephone in the room?
  • Is there storage space?
  • Can residents bring their own furniture from home?
  • Is there somewhere for visitors to sit?

4. Is there internet access? 

Most care homes now provide internet access as standard. However, some only offer Wi-Fi in communal areas, while others make sure it’s available across the entire facility.

If your loved one likes to Facetime family members or enjoys keeping up with friends on social media, it’s a good idea to check where and how they can do this in the care home. 

5. How are meals prepared? What about snacks? Tea or coffee?

Your loved one’s diet is tied to their well-being, so learning more about how the care home prepares meals will give you peace of mind that they’re being well looked after. 

Is there a chef on-site? Are the residents able to choose from a set menu? Are they provided with snacks throughout the day? And what about drinks, like juice, tea, or coffee?

Ask to see a menu, or speak with the kitchen staff to get a better idea of their process and the quality of food on offer.

6. What activities do you offer?

Care homes must provide daily activities for their residents. It’s a regulatory requirement. You should, therefore, seek to understand the range and quality of these activities.

Does the home have an activity coordinator? Can you meet with them? Can you observe an activity?

And, should you choose this home for your loved one, can you join in with the activities?

7. How often do residents get outside?

While most activities are likely to take place indoors, some care homes will also offer their residents the opportunity to get outside and enjoy some fresh air. 

Ask if the home provides day trips and, if so, how frequent they are. Do these trips cost extra? Are food and drink provided? And what’s the ratio of staff to residents on these trips?

8. When can I visit?

Visits from family members can be vital to the mental health and happiness of residents. 

You should, therefore, ask when you can visit and for how long. Most good care homes will allow visitors at any time of the day, within reason. 

Be wary of anywhere with fixed opening hours or that request you call ahead before visiting. 

At Fulford, we allow visitors to turn up at any time. 

9. What’s the staff-to-resident ratio?

This is a crucial question to ask, and one that’s often overlooked. 

If the staff are rushing from room to room, there’s a chance that your loved one won’t get the quality of care and attention they require. And if the staff appear stressed, they may leave before building meaningful relationships with the residents. 

To better understand the situation, ask for the care home’s staff retention rate and a copy of their most recent CQC (Care Quality Commission) report.

10. How will you manage and administer their medication? What happens if they become unwell?

If your loved one needs certain medication at specific points during the day, you’ll want reassurance that this will be taken care of. 

Ask how medicine is tracked and administered. How will changes in medication be handled? And what happens if your loved one falls ill? Is there a doctor-on-call? 

This is where choosing a nursing home (like Fulford) over a residential care home might come into your thinking. Nursing homes have trained nurses on duty to handle the nursing and medical requirements of its residents.

11. What’s your policy on pets?

Pets play a huge part in many people’s lives, and leaving them behind to move into a care home can be incredibly emotional. 

Some care homes allow residents to keep pets in their room. Some have strict no-pet policies. And others will allow visits from pets during pre-determined visiting hours or with advanced notice. Ask for clarification on this during your visit, if necessary.

12. What is the notice period?

You can do your homework on a care home, ask all the right questions, and be rigorous in your own personal inspection — but even then, that might not be enough. If your loved one is unhappy, you may want to move them to another facility, or bring them home. 

During your visit, ask if there’s a notice period for leaving and, if so, what the associated charges are. This is helpful because, if you find yourself faced with this situation, you’ll be well-prepared to deal with it both logistically and financially. 

A Few Questions to Ask Yourself

As you tour a care home, it’s useful to keep a few things front of mind:

13. What are my first impressions of the facility?

Listen to your gut as you enter the care home. Ask yourself:

  • Was I greeted in a friendly manner?
  • Is the atmosphere warm and welcoming?
  • Is the facility clean? Are there any unpleasant odours?
  • Are there enough toilets within reach?
  • Is it well-decorated and furnished?
  • Are there enough parking spaces for visitors?

14. Do the staff look happy?

If you’re looking for an insight into the level of care on offer, it’s helpful to observe the demeanour of the staff in and around the facility. 

  • Do they appear happy?
  • Do they smile at the residents?
  • Are they polite?
  • Are they engaging residents in conversation?
  • Do they listen?

It might seem like a small detail, but smiles are contagious! If the staff look happy, chances are they’re making the residents happy too.

Read More: Why Work in a Care Home? Ten Great Benefits to Consider 

15. Do the residents look happy?

Lastly, as you tour a prospective care home, take time to observe the residents. 

  • Do they appear happy, alert and responsive?
  • Are they smiling? Laughing?
  • Are they properly dressed and well-groomed?
  • Are they getting involved in activities, or chatting with one another?
  • Are they encouraged to be independent? To move around freely? And for those unable to do so, are they able to easily and quickly access a member of staff?

Gauging the mood of the room you’re in can be a small indicator of whether or not the residents are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Choosing a Care Home: We’re Here to Help

At the end of the day, the building isn’t important; it’s the people inside. 

We encourage you to visit as many nursing homes and care homes as you can and ask as many questions as possible. All that truly matters is that it feels right and that your loved one is happy and cared for. Go with your heart.

If you’d like to learn more about Fulford Nursing Home, please contact us on 01904 654 269. We’re ready to listen and happy to help.